#TheOrdinaryMoments – Balancing Bedlam

This post seems wrongly titled at present as it feels as if any ‘ordinary moments’ were a lifetime ago. Perhaps these posts would be more aptly titled ‘moments of madness’ considering the chaos that I’m currently enduring.

I’ve never been all that good at cutting a long story short so prepare yourself for a waffly rant regarding what’s going on right about now.

Going back a year or more ago I suffered from a few random blackouts during which I’d collapse without warning, often coming round to find myself lathered in sweat, shaking, and completely exhausted for the next few hours. This resulted in me taking quite a few days off work as most of the episodes took place first thing during the morning and I’d end up back in bed recovering for the majority of the day. The GP referred me for cardiograms, ECGs, heart traces, and twenty-four monitoring yet nothing other than low blood pressure seemed to show up.

Thankfully things seemed to improve for a while, though if I ever felt stressed, tired, or hungry I’d often struggle with maintaining my balance and coordination. To try and prevent further episodes from occurring I began wearing a smartwatch to track my heart rate and blood pressure in the hope that it could for-warn me to prevent further falls.

Fast forward to August this year –  I suddenly started suffering from dizziness whenever I moved my head back, forth, or to one side following which, I began struggling with my sight as I found things appeared somehow slatted, almost as if a set of Venetian blinds had been placed in front of my eyes.

I can only describe the sensation during these episodes akin to feeling rather drunk as the room would spin, my sight would become slatted and I’d lose my balance. On one occasion I even head-butted my desk as I became so unsteady due to loss of coordination whilst looking up at some shelves.

Not long after this I began noticing twitching in my left eye, this would often follow the dizzy spells and was enough to push me to ring the GP for further advice. Thankfully the GP offered to see me face to face and after carrying out some tests to check whether I’d had some sort of stroke or TIA, she suggested that it was most likely to be vertigo causing these symptoms. I was then put on a three-week course of tablets to combat the suspected vertigo and though things improved a little, the eye twitching continued.

This month I’ve found myself suffering from night sweats, further dizziness, even more, eye twitching, and more concerningly, a low-grade temp. I knew something wasn’t right and so rang the GP for further advice. I was then sent for a number of blood tests (including a covid antibody test) to rule out various issues.

The results are now in and it’s a bit of a mixed bag really as it seems I am deficient in a number of areas, including my levels of  B12, iron, and ketones. For those of you wondering whether I have antibodies for covid – apparently not which would suggest that the flu I suffered from back in February was just that – flu.

Following my test results, I’ve been asked to increase my levels of B12 and iron prior to further profiling and investigation. I have therefore started taking numerous supplements in the hope that I can make some improvements to my health.

I’ll be completely honest, I’m terrified that something is really wrong which is understandable given that my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor earlier this year and has since been on a downward spiral which has been heartbreaking to watch. I realise that I must sound ridiculously paranoid but with the eye twitching, the sight issues, the random collapsing, and dizzy spells, I’m scared silly that there’s something sinister going on.

This week hasn’t been easy as I’ve been juggling the kids, household chores, work, and late evenings (and most of the weekend) helping my Mum to care for my Dad who’s taken a turn for the worst and as of yesterday is now in hospital. Things truly aren’t easy and what worse, they are only going to get harder.

I’m worried sick about my Dad, I’m worried sick about my Mum, I’m worried sick about the kids going to school each day during a pandemic and I’m also a little worried about what’s going on with my own health… I’m just a bag of nerves! I’m so glad I’ve opted to reduce my hours at work as I’m just not sure that I’d have managed to continue juggling so many plates for much longer as I’m completely and utterly exhausted!

Here’s hoping that the supplement tablets do their job and though I may be rattling come this time next week, that I may have gained some balance in all aspects of the meaning, and with a little luck be feeling a bit more human. Here’s hoping for a few ‘ordinary moments’ during a time in which normality is no longer.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to catching up with your #TheOrdinaryMoments posts either through your own posts or comments upon this post.