Being a parent is hard work whether you chose to ‘stay at home’ or to work full-time, it is equally demanding, challenging and ultimately tiring. As a parent of two I felt that part-time work would be the more suitable option for my family and work-life balance. However, it seems when working part-time everything within your life also becomes part-time.
The So Called Perfect Balance
As you may be aware I work four days a week, three of which are evening shifts. This creates a beautiful balance in terms of child care as whilst Paul is out at work during the day I am able to care for the children and then come tea time we swap roles as I leave for work and he looks after the children.
Unlike most people who have a busy day at work and return home to relax, I have a busy day at home then have to go out to work. It can be really draining at times, especially when I’ve had a rough day or have a turbulent shift. I usually get home around 10.20pm and after a quick dunk in the bath and getting ready for bed there is very little time to wind down and relax. Nobody seems to understand that being a part-time worker actually results in having more plates to juggle with less time to focus upon each plate.
Oh How I Wish Fairies Were Real!
Paul will often ask me what I have done whilst he is out at work. I am fairly sure that he thinks I lay back and relax on the sofa while the fairies crack on with the day-to-day jobs.
I tell you, those fairies must be bleeping knackered with having to tidy and organise the house, arrange appointments, load the washer, empty the washer, load the dryer, empty the dryer, load the dishwasher, empty the dishwasher, hoover up and downstairs, collect the kids from Nursery and School, sit and complete homework with J, do the shopping, send and collect various packages and ferry the kids to and from random activities to name just a few of the things that they magically seem to get done.
Staying On Top Of Things
I once relied upon using a single paper diary to stay organised and now find myself having to use a family diary, the calendar on my phone and a wall planner to coordinate each day without being late for something or other. It’s endless and often exhausting but without my many lists, schedules and plans things would probably fall apart fairly quickly in this household.
Being the lady of the house Just call me Mrs Bucket I seem to be the family PA, aka the one that is relied upon to keep our shizz together. I have casually suggested to Paul that perhaps he could book his own appointments for hair cuts and such like to lighten my load. He seemed rather adverse to the idea of being without his PA and so I have continued to keep the ship sailing single-handed. Don’t get me wrong Paul works hard ‘on deck’ but he doesn’t wish to stand behind the helm.
The Little Things
There are certain jobs which without being sexist I find women tend to be relied upon to carry out. From organising appointments, buying birthday presents, writing cards or rearranging the children’s wardrobes, us women are usually the ones making sure that things tick over with very little if any acknowledgement from the blokes.
It’s the ‘little things’ that blokes simply don’t seem to notice and I think that quite often it’s the ‘little things’ that make such a massive difference.
Finding The Time
I found myself being asked to ‘find the time’ to do something other than what I already pack into the daily grind this evening and rather than responding rationally and explaining that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I simply cannot fit anymore into that amount of time, I found myself shouting and soon after in floods of tears.
There is only so much that one person can achieve in a set amount of time and whilst I am aware that we have a crap load of jobs to get done in order to complete our extension I just cannot fathom how to fit it all in without having a mini-melt down.
If fairies did exist then I blumming wish they’d fly around right about now as I have a list the length of my leg to get done. I realise that most of the jobs are currently being handed to Paul to work upon once the children are tucked up in bed. I know this isn’t fair and that I should be helping him more but I don’t understand when I am supposed to do this.
If only there were a few more hours each day then I could finally become Super Woman but as that’s not possible I can only do my very best.
24 comments
Oh lovely, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling like this, it’s hard being a parent and even harder being a working parent and don’t even get me started on the trials and tribulations of being a mummy, sometimes we feel like we barely even have a moment to breathe, it does get a bit easier when the kids get older although as you know, I am a single mum and perpetually juggling trying to keep a million things in the air. I guess it’s just about finding the stuff that’s most important and then trying not to sweat the small stuff.
Big hugs and lots of love
Ah, I feel your pain. I’ve had 4 years of my daughter at home and the house magically being looked after and then working all evening. I thought it would be easier now she is in school but I’ve taken on another part time job. So I do that, my other part time job still, have my girl from 3pm and I am at Uni part time too. Oh and the blog of course 🙂
And yet…my hubby still does nothing to help. Sigh. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. X
It can get quite frustrating sometimes…(hubby and I work both part-time) he’s the one on the evenings and I have 2 mornings 1 evening..yeah..loads to juggle..but when something similar happens at home and we feel there is no time for anything cause as you say there is only that much we can do we like to put things into the right perspective and start prioritising (that and also take a deep breath! ) 😉
It is all about team work isn’t it
Oh Rachel, big hugs. When we have a lot on our plate, that’s when it becomes harder to realise how much other people are trying to juggle too I think. It’s so easy to get into the mindset that other people just simply have more time than you do but sounds like both you and Paul are stretching yourselves at the moment. I honestly don’t know how you manage to keep so much going so smoothly (I think you ARE super woman). Keep going. It will get easier.
Thanks Holly I’m far from super woman, I crawled back into bed this morning for a lay in as I decided to give myself a break.
I can relate to this so much lovely. Although my girls are a little older now and I work full time hours, I still carry the brunt of the housework, organising family life, Christmas, cooking, meal planning etc.
This resulted in me melting a bit this week and screaming; ‘Why can’t any of you FUCKING CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES! I AM NOT A DOORMAT’ and stomping off upstairs like a toddler.
I hope things ease up for you soon x
lol I am lucky that Paul does a lot of the cooking too but yeh I get what you mean xxxx
I know exactly where you are coming from Rachel, although my hubby has no expectations of me to do anything if I didn’t do anything it simply would not get done so I don’t see that I have a choice unless I want to live in chaos. I’ve had a mini meltdown on the phone this morning as I’m juggling too much as usual and am beyond stressed. I feel like if I worked outside of the home I would have double to do and I’m fed up of having to stomp my feet to get any help around the house as it is.
So glad I’m not alone x
I have a fantastic husband, who has always done his share, both with household chores and childcare, since I suffered a stroke, many years ago, he now has do it all
Hats off to him x
I know where you’re coming from, I’m currently on maternity leave… which should be all about bonding with baby right? Sometimes it feels like maternity leave is a ploy by the men who rule the world to make women stay at home to do the housework!!
It’s never-ending, and tough to keep on top of when you’re exhausted like you are and I am.
It’s hard work I know. We do share the jobs but there are times when I wonder if he thinks I don’t work as hard him and therefore should work hard in the home.
You’re doing a fantastic job! It definitely appears to be a woman’s world when it comes to children and housework but men are equally as able to cater to these needs too. I know that when my partner gets home from work I hand all parental responsibility over to him before I pull my hair out! 3 tiny terrors are hard to manage haha! Amy x #TuesdayTreasures
Yes my man manages well x
Found myself nodding along to a lot of this. I work four days a week, usually 1130-800 pm, my wife works three day shifts. She handles most of the stuff with the teenager, orthodontic appointments and such, I take care of the five year old. My list of things to do on the days I’m not working really doesn’t lend itself to having much free time. We are fortunate to be able to each work part time. I don’t know how other people do it #tuesdaytreasures
It is blinking hard work.
I think whether you have kids or not, balancing time can be a really hard task. I often find that I’m running from one place to another without enough time to enjoy things. I plan to slow down more in 2017 and make more of my moments. I hope you can find a better balance too Rachel, sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate!
Sally @ Life Loving
Thanks we do have way too much on our plates.
Did I write this? I’m pretty sure I wrote this? 😉
Yes, you’ve taken the words right out of my mouth, I’m totally with you!
I have so much respect for you being busy with the kids all day then going out to work in the evening, my day is similar to yours except I work from home, so I’m busy all day then once the little ones in bed I start work until late. Sending you big mutual hugs!
Thanks my love xxx
It must be so difficult for you all. It sounds like little time is spent being together which is a shame. #TuesdayTreasures
We are getting there now x