Our four-year old little lady is currently going through a rather challenging phase in her life; I’m not sure whether it’s the weather, too much chocolate, a holiday thing, spectrum symptoms or just an age related phase, either way it’s damned hard work at present.
E is very much like myself in many respects, but for the life of me, I cannot remember being quite so awkward at such an early age. Like most kids E can be pretty loud at times, at present this seems to be whenever she happens to want something. Should you be unable to provide whatever it is she so happens to wish for at the time, then there will be tears, there will be screaming and there will be an almighty melt down which try as you might to ignore is near impossible to do so.
I’ve adopted a number of tactics to deal with E’s ‘mini meltdowns’; Firstly, I remind her that screaming simply does not get us anything and as for crying or stamping our feet, they simply aren’t an acceptable nor suitable way in which to put forward a request. Secondly, I explain that whilst screaming or crying I am unable to understand or to help with the matter and only once she is calm and comprehensible can I then assist with whatever issue she may have.
I’ve got very little patience for paddies at present given that I’ve spent the past week or so suffering with severe headaches, I’ve therefore tried my very best to ignore her screams and cries but given the volume at which our Princess paddies, this is extremely difficult to do.
I regularly praise our Princess for good behaviour and sit and chat to her about how we conduct ourselves as children and adults, though this seems to go in one ear and come out of the other. I clearly remember that J was quite a handful at this age, it was never the ‘terrible twos’ nor the ‘troublesome threes’ which caused any issue, it was the fffffing fours! Maybe it is an age phase after all, either way it’s trying my patience that’s for sure!
Kids will be kids and it’s to be expected that there will be tantrums, tears and attention seeking from time to time. It’s of no great surprise to me that we are experiencing this behaviour as children tend to have a ‘me, myself and I’ outlook, which is entirely understandable given their age and stage in life. They will push the barriers, press your buttons and generally seek a reaction of some sort, it’s what kids do!
Theres a whole host of ways in which people may manipulate others to gain attention, whether it’s flattery, insults, rudeness, threats, screaming, crying and stamping their feet, kids will try almost anything to get their own way.
Children are often unable to cope when out of the lime light, perhaps when at a party which isn’t their own for example. They are unable to understand when it isn’t appropriate or entirely practical to interrupt, I’ve spent countless telephone calls shushing my kids whilst trying to pass on important information yet they continue to vi for my attention as they are unable to see how anyone or anything else could be more important than themselves.
As I write this post I’m reminded that there are in fact a fair few adults who also behave like this at times, adults whom should have grown up by now but obviously haven’t as they too display childish, selfish behaviour.
E thankfully has plenty of time in which to learn, time to adapt and to accept that the World in which she lives simply does not revolve around her. Here’s hoping with time, care and love she will learn to understand, to compromise and to calm herself.