Don’t get me wrong I miss my kids greatly when they are busy at School but over the past couple of months I’ve learnt to adapt and to make use of the time that I now have to myself. Often I busy myself with household chores but every now and then I’ll take a moment for myself to do something which I otherwise wouldn’t have the chance to do such as today when I ran myself a bath, threw in a rather large Lush bath bomb then poured myself a glass of Cola and turned on the tunes to keep me company.
I’m not sure what length of time is classed as acceptable to spend soaking in the tub or whether there is any set time limit for such a thing. However, by the time I eventually stepped out of the tub my skin had become prune like and the water was beginning to go cold. I then wrapped myself in towels and lazed upon the bed before getting dressed and ready for the day.
This isn’t something which I very often have the chance to do and given that there was opportunity and a Lush bath bomb at the ready I decided to throw caution to the wind and sod the chores for an hour or two. It was well worth my time as for the remainder of the day I felt at peace, relaxed and slightly spoilt if somewhat lazy for having spent so long laying in the tub whilst my kids were being educated and essentially cared for by the School.
Whilst I spent the majority of the morning mooning around I then suffered a slight bout of guilt thus played catchup throughout the afternoon by trying to get as many chores done as possible including emptying, clearing and cleaning our fridge for no reason at all other than the need to justify having spent so much time lazing around earlier in the day.
I fully intended to edit and upload yet more videos to my YouTube channel, that and type out and print a stack of Thank You letters following Christmas, neither of which I did but in all honesty I much preferred taking a little time out to pamper myself. I refuse to continue torturing myself for doing so yet here I am writing some form of confessional for god knows what reason.
How is it as parents we feel permanently judged, whether it’s for working, not working, preparing fresh meals, having take out food, what we wear, what we don’t wear, how much we earn or don’t earn, what time we wake up, what time we go to bed, what we chose to do or not do in my case today and a whole other heap of things which have no bearing upon life in the long run?
At the end of the day so long as our kids are happy and we are happy in ourselves then that’s all that really matters, whether that requires spending an hour and a half soaking in a tub now or then what should it matter? It doesn’t…
I’m fed up of judgement, sick to the back teeth of being compared to this that and the other. At the end of the day, I need to stop worrying about what other people may say or think because it shouldn’t matter and in all honesty doesn’t matter.