Kaysarahsera, What Will Be Will Be

It’s been blinking ages since I’ve sat down without reason to write. Theres so much that I could say, so many ideas for posts that I have up my sleeve but I seem to be lacking some serious motivation as despite having the time I simply haven’t had the urge to sit and write as I once did.

I feel as if I’m spinning way too many plates and at some point one of them (or more) is going to come crashing down upon me. If I’m not running around the house catching up on the chores then I’m either tending to the kids, spending time within School on a voluntary basis, attending courses or working behind the bar.

It’s as if every spare second seems to be soaked up by something or other all of which seem to be sapping my energy yet my pockets remain empty for now. As you may have read throughout my past posts I am desperate to acquire a new job ideally within an Education setting. I’ve been applying for all kinds of jobs over the past two years or more and still am no further in making any success.

That along with the rather patronising and rude letter which I recently received from a local publishing company regarding the number of applications which I have made to them throughout the years gone by (all of which have been for differing roles all of which I would be more than able to carry out) has really knocked my confidence.


I’m hoping that voluntary work within Schools may give me some experience which should contribute to my C.V and hopefully make a difference when it comes to future job applications and even if it makes no difference whatsoever to my situation then at least I will have made a difference to children within the classrooms in which I assist.

It’s so damn frustrating at times especially so when I’m asked “when are you planning on getting a proper job?” by both family and friends. It’s not as if I planned on being made redundant from Teaching or working behind a bar at the age of thirty-four, it just happened.

I once believed that life had a plan of its own, fate would somehow steer me upon the correct path and I would follow said path without much thought. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Kaysarahsera what will be… will be.



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