I don’t even know where to begin with this post, I can’t for the life of me figure out what to write or where to start in order to explain what has been a rather incredible and overwhelming couple of days.
As Disney rather famously acclaimed (and as I continue to assure my children yet have failed to believe myself until recently) “If you can dream it, you can do it”. As it turns out my dreams have finally come true and whilst I am still finding it rather difficult to believe and to accept as reality, I am beginning to get to grips with the idea that life may not always give you lemons after all.
Whilst carrying out my weekly voluntary role within the local Primary School earlier this week I was taken aside and asked whether I’d fancy something a little more permanent by becoming part of the staff team as a Teaching Assistant.
Quite honestly I wasn’t sure what to say, obviously my answer was a resounding “yes” but I could barely get the words out of my mouth as my jaw was practically on the floor in shock. I should have been bouncing off the ceiling instead I found myself floating around like some lost soul with a head full of cotton wool as I desperately tried to make sense of what didn’t seem real.
It didn’t seem real then and it still doesn’t now! These things just don’t happen to me, I’m so used to being at rock bottom that being offered something which I have wanted so badly for so long feels almost alien to me.
Having phoned my husband and my folks to let them know the news I was then bombarded with congratulations and well wishes all of which felt much-like an out-of-body experience. Family and friends have since contacted me to offer me their congratulations and still I am in a state of disbelief.
I spent three years working hard to train as a Primary School Teacher each and every day assuring myself it would all be worth it in the end. Fourteen years later I was working behind a bar having given up all hope of acquiring anything near to what I had worked so hard for and had spent years dreaming about.
Sure, I’ve worked in Secondary Schools, Adult Education and have flitted in and out of a few Primary Schools to offer transition or supply work from time to time but it’s never been a permanent fixture nor something which I deemed possible given the time that I’ve spent wishing for this moment.
Give it a few weeks of being in the classroom and I may just start to believe it for myself but as of yet I’m still finding it rather surreal. It’ll take time to sink in and hopefully over that time I will find my feet and get to grips with a new reality.
I’m not sure where I stand in terms of blogging due to working within Education. I’m not sure whether it’ll be an issue, hopefully not but I have known it to be an issue with previous employers and certainly do not wish for it cause conflict with my new role.
I don’t want to put any undue pressure on myself but I just want to get everything right this time around. I don’t care how hard I have to work, what I have to do, I just want to make the very best of this amazing opportunity which I have been given.
It’ll take a little time to get used to but I have finally gone and done it, I have finally got a job and not just any job but the job of my dreams!