Dear John

We are once again at the end of another weekend, it won’t be long before the summer holidays are upon us and weekdays will blur into weekends as we take a well-deserved rest from the regular routine.

I have always been a sucker for routine, I like to know when, where and what I’m doing and whilst I welcome the holidays I must admit that I find the lack of routine sets me on edge somewhat. Thinking back to the Christmas break I was barely able to fathom which day of the week it was until routine returned.

I have fond memories of being a Teacher, I had a strict routine, I had planners filled with lists, schedules and almost each and every hour of my day was planned to perfection. Since leaving the classroom I’ve found that I am lacking focus, lacking lustre and generally just lacking…

I find it far too easy to lose focus as you’ve probably noticed whilst reading my blog posts. One moment I’m on topic and the next I’ve waffled myself onto a tangent and never really get to the point of the matter. There isn’t a point if I’m honest, I’m not feeling entirely myself at present and until my mojo returns if you happen to have seen it please return said mojo it’s highly likely my posts will be much like my mind, foggy!

I guess the key to focus is to take a step closer, to really look at what it is you may be considering or working upon, to ignore distractions, put aside set backs and to concentrate upon the matter in hand.

At present I am desperately trying to focus upon ascertaining future career prospects. I’ve lost count as to how any jobs I’ve applied to over the past few years. I’ve become accustomed to rejection and am no longer surprised nor shaken when I either hear ‘nothing or a simple no’.

I’ve received countless Dear John letters over the past couple of years, each and every one of them have kicked me in the metaphorical teeth but I’ve held my head high and continued to seek further employment despite the never-ending setbacks.

Yet another Dear John (actually two letters to be precise) arrived this week, I will be honest unlike most Dear John letters which I shrug off and shove into the bin I felt real disappointment this time around.

It wasn’t an amazing job that I had applied for but it was a role which I felt I had done well at interview for and which would suit me down to the ground in terms of location, skill set and personal interest.

Once again it wasn’t meant to be and once again I’ve found myself back at the drawing board or should I say job seeking sites.

I have been through CV over a hundred times and there seems very little else I can add or take away from my resume which would make a whole lot of difference to the matter.

I guess I just have to ‘keep on trying’ as I’ve been told countless times by family and friends. Theres come a point though when I feel that enough is enough, I’ve spent years at University battling through my own personal hell to get a degree which now seems to be of little or no use whatsoever. What was the freaking point?

There are only so many rejection letters a girl can take and this girl has had her fill.