I woke up with stomach ache this morning already worried about how E’s first day at Nursery will pan out. E on the other hand was still dead to World kicking out the Zzz’s while I slurped at my morning brew and tried to get a bowl of Cornflakes down the hatch. As soon as E was up and about we got ourselves ready and before I knew it, it was time to bundle her up into the car and take her to Nursery.
We arrived slightly early and went inside to explore, E instantly ran off and began joining in with the other children as they played. I stood with the staff and explained that there was banana as E didn’t eat much breakfast and spare clothes in case of an accident both inside of her bag. I then continued to tell them that E is now toilet trained but they will need to be quick on acting once she says “Me Need A Pee” as otherwise the change of clothing will come into action. I even found myself stating the obvious, “She’s dressed in quite a heavy jumper and it may need to be removed if she becomes too hot”… at this point I was handed the emergency contact documentation to check for any errors. I think they gave me the paperwork most probably to shut me up as I was quite obviously a dithering wreck, to be fair it was a good distraction and once I had read through it all I noticed that E was in the thick of it, She hadn’t so much as glanced back in my direction and it was then that I was shown the door. I tried to say “Goodbye” to E but she didn’t seem to notice, it was probably for the best and so I left feeling slightly odd without a little hand to hold.
It was only once I had got back to the car and had located my Vape for some comfort that I realised I had forgotten to mention that E was carrying her beloved Ninny Bunny. I wanted to be sure that her beloved bunny doesn’t get lost and wondered if it should perhaps be put back into her bag. I was almost tempted to nip back in and let them know but realised they may well think I am a nutter worrying about such trivialities. The thing of it is, all these ‘little details’ mean so much to me because I have been the soul carer for our daughter for almost three years now and it isn’t easy handing over the reigns to somebody else, anybody else for that matter.
I got home, popped the radio on for some company and had a quick tidy round. It feels really odd sitting here just the dog and I looking at the clock wondering what E is up to. I have a few bits and bobs to be getting on with but I just don’t feel able to fully concentrate on any particular thing as my mind is elsewhere, at the Nursery to be precise.
For those of you that have ‘been there, done it and worn the t-shirt’ I salute you, its blumming hard letting go of your little ones, even if it is only for two hours. Somebody once told me that having children is like taking your heart and allowing it to walk outside of your body, I think it’s fair to say that they had they were pretty accurate in identifying the emotions involved when watching your children grow from babies into ‘little people’.
21 comments
Awww, bless you lovely. I can completely identify with this. Little Miss H is now three and at the moment she is going to her pre-school settling in sessions before joining properly in September. I attend these sessions with her but she really doesn’t need me there. She throws herself into everything and is immediately playing with all the other children. It feels me with a mixture of immense pride but also great sadness that she can forget about me so quickly. Hopefully, you will get used to it soon and start enjoying your precious child-free hours. Although I am sure that you will always miss her and wonder what she is doing. Watching our children grow and develop is so wonderful but it is also so sad and heart-breaking. Hugs Lucy xxxx
It is indeed pre school and yeh my heart breaks but I’m sure I’ll learn to deal with it as you say
I do recall just how hard it was to let go and leave them at nursery for the first time….and the second and third! My youngest son especially was an absolute nightmare and cried every single time I left him for what seemed like forever! They settle really quickly though, and before you know it they are 7 or 8 and don’t even want to give you a kiss goodbye at the school gate anymore!
That’s so true, she goes again this friday and I feel a whole lot better about it now.
Oh it’s so hard isn’t it. I was told I was lucky that my eldest didn’t get upset when I left him, but it kind of made feel surplus to requirement, at least if they showed some emotion to you leaving then they clearly like your company! I felt quite sad when he went off without a care. It does get easier though, promise! Xx
It was hard but she did soooo well!
Aww I remember this feeling all too well and it didn’t get any easier the more children I had either. Such a huge milestone. I don’t think it’s something that you ever feel completely ready for, even if they do!
Oh god, Rachel. I am applying to a nursery at the moment and I am dreading it! It’s good that your little joined with the other kids so quickly #TuesdayTreasures
I was really pleased with how well she took to it x
Yes I remember this well! It is never easy but most kids are just so resilient and manage just fine even if mum is a quivering wreck!
And she did x
Those first few drop offs at nursery can be the hardest, my LM just dismissed me when we got there ‘you can go now mummy!’ he said. My baby was no longer a baby #TuesdayTreasures
Awwww dismissed you lol
We are looking at nurseries at the moment; I am dreading dropping her off for the day, I am expecting tears! x
They grow so fast don’t they. I remember when Sylvia was just a baby and now she is 8 it is too quick!
I remember this exact feeling when my first went to nursery. I didn’t know what to do with myself and it felt so weird. You will get used to it, believe me, and soon 2 hours won’t be long enough 🙂
I remember hating dropping them off at first and definitely feeling lost afterwards. It does get a lot easier though. Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
Thanks Stevie x
Aww it is hard, it’s hard leaving them with other people. It does get easier, it takes time and you get used to it, but that won’t help at the moment, hugs! Thanks for linking to #picknmix x
It was easier this morning x
I have this all to come very soon; glad E seemed to enjoy it; I am sure you will soon get used to it #TuesdayTreasures x