One Of My Worst Nightmares Became A Reality

One of my biggest fears became a reality yesterday, I have always worried about my children’s safety when using the stairs and yesterday my fears became a reality as my little girl took a tumble from the very top to the very bottom of our stairs.

It was early morning following breakfast, E and I were upstairs getting ready for the day. I had piled up the washing basket, the waste paper bin and some pots to bring downstairs to sort and clean as I do each day. We were just as we were about to venture downstairs, I had opened the baby gate ready for us to do our usual ‘counting the steps’ as E sits on her bum and goes down each one. I then remembered that I needed to grab a few toilet rolls to take with me for the downstairs toilet so told E to sit still and to wait a second while I grabbed some toilet rolls from the airing cupboard.

Rather than sitting down on the top step and waiting as instructed, E stood at the top of the stairs and just as I was about to shout “sit down” she fell forwards and began toppling down the stairs.  I dropped everything and ran as fast as I could to her but it was as if the World had gone into slow motion, despite time slowing down I simply couldn’t reach her in time. During the fall E flipped over twice banging her head on the stairs, she had literally fallen the entire staircase and I was screaming as I ran to get to her.

One Of My Worst Nightmares Became A Reality

After almost slipping myself whilst hurtling down the stairs to help, I grabbed hold of E and cuddled her tight. My poor little Princess was screaming and crying, I didn’t have a clue as to whether she had any significant injuries but I wanted to hold her until she was calm enough for me to get to a telephone and to call for help. I gave her the once over, checking her arms, legs, neck, back and her head for any cuts, breaks or bruising. All that was physically noticeable was a rather large bump on her forehead which concerned me somewhat, E on the other hand was more concerned that she had left her beloved Bunny ‘Ninny’ at the top of the stairs. I ran to retrieve the rabbit, anything to give her comfort at this horrific moment. Whilst I was shaking like a leaf, sweating profusely and my heart was beating like a drum in my ears, I somehow managed to compose myself whilst ringing the local Doctors for advice.

After a rushed telephone call I bundled E and her beloved Bunny into the car and took her to the Doctors for an emergency appointment. E decided that she wanted to walk from the car to the Doctors surgery, this surprised me and I began to calm slightly as I saw that she wasn’t limping, she somehow seemed fairly normal considering what she had just gone through. I on the other hand was a complete wreck, my nerves were shot and I felt like a terrible parent. Why the hell didn’t I leave the sodding toilet roll and take her down the stairs first? I know that she is fairly confident at going up and down the stairs these days but she is still only two years old, ok nearly three but still how bloody stupid could I be?

We were sent straight in to see the Doctor, he seemed really relaxed about the whole ‘toddler falling down a set of stairs’ malarky. I was seriously expecting him to ring social services and report me for being a negligent parent or something along those lines. The Doctor assured me that me that these things happen everyday and that I should stop beating myself up about it. He checked E over from top to bottom, everything seemed absolutely fine including the rather prominent egg-shaped bruise swelling from E’s forehead. E was full of smiles and seemed to rather enjoy the chance to have a nosey around the Doctors office, it was as if the whole tumbling down a staircase scenario had never happened.

For some reason it was if someone had switched a tap on, I found myself sobbing my heart out and I couldn’t seem to stop as the visions of seeing E tumble down the stairs continued to flash back through my mind. The sound of her hitting the stairs one by the one, the sensation of being unable to stop her from falling and the guilt that I felt for trying to do too much at once and it resulting in E having such an awful accident. I felt hot, sweaty, dizzy and nauseous as the thoughts seemed to constantly replay in my mind. The Doctor was really understanding and whilst he tried to put my mind at ease, I cannot forgive myself for what happened. I am never letting E go down the stairs again without me being directly in front of her, sod the odd jobs which may need doing, I am going to be there each and every stair to be bloody certain that she is safe. I never want to see, hear or feel what I have felt these past twenty-four hours every again.

One Of My Worst Nightmares Became A Reality

We have spent today playing with E’s toy kitchen, cuddling up watching Bing Bunny, baking melting moments, colouring pictures, playing with Barbie dolls, rolling and cutting play dough, making sticker collages and generally having as much fun as we can together to help erase the horrific memories from yesterday. E has been absolutely fine in herself, her bruise has actually gone down slightly and whilst I still feel guilty as sin I am so bloody grateful to the gods above or whatever forces there may be for ensuring that E survived her tumble without any significant trauma.

Pick N Mix Fridays

24 Comments

  1. July 13, 2016 / 1:25 am

    Oh no hope E is fine, she sounds like she is. It’s horrible I dread the twins going alone I was lucky the other day when Euan slipped I managed to catch him because I was right in front of him but your heart skips a million beats. They are our babies X X

    • July 13, 2016 / 1:43 am

      She is fine thank god but I am still so angry with myself

  2. July 13, 2016 / 10:15 pm

    Aww! Bless you! My eldest fell down the stairs when she was nearly 3 and just had a bump to her head & when I was a child I fell down the stairs…Accidents happen. Don’t blame yourself…
    My girls are 13 & 8 and I still worry about them on the stairs. I say at least once a day be careful. x

  3. July 15, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    Oh Rachel I so get this. My daughter did a similar thing when she was around 9 months. It is stomach lurchingly horrible. Apparently if they cry then that’s a good sign. We took ours straight to A&E for a complete checkover and she was fine, although if she does forget something nowadays (she’s 13) I always blame it on the tumble down the stairs. Glad E is ok. #PickNMix

    • July 15, 2016 / 12:30 pm

      Thanks for reassuring me, I still feel sick about it.

  4. July 15, 2016 / 2:17 pm

    I remember the very same. I ran upstairs when my eldest was about 18 months to close the windows as it started pouring with rain. Thinking I’d be super quick I didn’t close the staircase and she followed me up and then went flying down the stairs. Qe ended up in A&E all evening but thankfully she was absolutely fine. It’s so scary isn’t it!! #picknmix

  5. July 15, 2016 / 3:05 pm

    Poor E. It is so frightful when they fall down the stairs, but it does happen. Both mine fell down the stairs. My son at 18months, he had a big all in one coat on which probably caused him to fall but also saved him from injury. and my daughter fell when she was almost three, she ended up with carpet burn on her face #picknmix

    • July 15, 2016 / 4:25 pm

      It was awful but thankfully she’s all good phew !!!!!

  6. The Tale of Mummyhood
    July 15, 2016 / 9:06 pm

    Ah I know you must be beating yourself up but it isn’t your fault. Unfortunately accidents happen, so glad that all is well. The fact that you feel so rotten about it shows just what an amazing parent you are.

    #picknmix

  7. July 16, 2016 / 12:30 pm

    Aww no…I’m glad E is ok and doesn’t seem to have any lasting effects from the fall. I know exactly how you feel, my boy fell down the stairs when he was about 18months and luckily I caught him just before he hit 5ye hard floor at the bottom. It was horrible, he was upstairs with his dad and just wandered off..we must have left the gate open. It was horrible and I kept reliving it for days but Leo was fine almost straight after, just a few grazes and a bump on his head. It is horrible but I think it definitely upsets us parents more than the kids. Try not to beat yourself up..big hugs xx #picknmix

    • July 16, 2016 / 3:18 pm

      Thanks Wendy, E seems totally fine now it is me having nightmares still!

  8. July 16, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    Arghh! This isn’t good 🙁 I spent my whole of my childhood falling down the stairs! I’m so clumsy! Thankfully Erin hasn’t followed suit!

  9. July 16, 2016 / 8:57 pm

    Aw hun, this has touched my heart as I have a stair climber too (who incidentally is a Bing Bunny fantatic!). I know exactly how you feel, the what if’s and why the hell did I do that? But we’re all trying to cram so much into the day, that actually another run up the stairs makes a difference. It’s so hard not to blame yourself but I’m so pleased to hear from the comments that E is okay 🙂 Are you Australian as you mention Melting Moments, the best biscuits ever from my childhood in Melbourne.. Lots of love to you xx #picknmix

    • July 16, 2016 / 10:24 pm

      I am from the UK and I add cornflakes to my melting moments how about you ?

  10. July 17, 2016 / 3:13 pm

    Mine is older, but took a pretty good tumble down the stairs recently also. Kids are remarkably hard to break, but it was a scary moment nonetheless. Glad yours is OK. #picnmix

    • July 17, 2016 / 5:31 pm

      Thanks Jeremy so glad kids tend to bounce lol

  11. July 18, 2016 / 3:18 pm

    Oh bless her that must’ve been scary for you both! Mine have fallen only a few stairs and that was bad enough for me so I really feel for you. I’m glad she’s ok, don’t beat yourself up we all do things, xx

  12. July 18, 2016 / 10:23 pm

    Oh Rachel you poor thing. It must have been so frightening for you. I always think these things are worse for us than them. It could happen to anyone. Lots of love xx

  13. July 18, 2016 / 11:25 pm

    These things happen so don’t beat yourself up, just be glad all was okay. My youngest decided to climb onto his brother’s bike in the lounge when he was teeny and cut his face on the television cabinet, whilst I was panicking grabbing the first aid kit he was busy trying to put his brother’s roller skates on… I have no idea how he has made it to the age of 10 with no broken bones. I’m glad everything was okay.

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

  14. July 21, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    Oh gosh this brings back memories. Ava fell when staying at my mum and dads she leaned on the gate and it failed and she flipped the whole way down it was horrific! I will never get those images out of my head, I was in a right state afterwards. Don’t beat yourself up about it, accidents happen. Glad she is ok. Thanks for linking to #picknmix

    • July 21, 2016 / 8:30 pm

      It’s awful isn’t it, I am more relaxed now but I ensure every stairs journey is bum based

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