Being In A Hump On ‘Hump Day’

Being In A Hump On 'Hump Day'For some reason Wednesday is now referred to online as ‘Hump Day’, I’m not entirely sure as to why they call it this, but having my brain in the gutter, I picture Wednesday’s to be the day when we are all meant to be at it like rabbits, humping away to our hearts contents. Obviously, I realise it’s because Wednesday is deemed as the half way point and so you’re over the ‘hump of the week’. Personally, I’m usually in a hump by Wednesday, this week I sure as hell am!

It’s half term, I’ve never really understood why parents moan so much about having to look after their own children until now. Whilst Paul has recently acquired a promotion at work, this also means that he looses the school holidays, leaving me to look after our lovely little sprogs all by my lonesome.

So far we’ve filled our week with activities ranging from shopping for new bikes (aka empty your wallet Mother…) to trips out to the park, which turned out to be swamped by mud from the recent flooding. This in turn resulted in my brand new ugg boots becoming shit up in order to cart my two children to the joys of swings, slides and climbing frames, which are designed purely to give any parent a small heart attack as they watch their child clamber up twenty-foot high, standing helpless from below.

Following our trip to the quagmire we managed to have a fairly civilised dinner in Asda (oh yes so classy!) just the three of us. It was all very serene until J  requested vinegar on his chips and me being, the perfect Mother took the vinegar sachet from him to open whilst saying “it’s ok, I’ll open it, otherwise there will be a mess”… Literally as the word “mess” fell from my mouth the vinegar sachet tore open and splattered the neighbouring table with a fountain of vinegar. The old lady now sat covered in condiments had overheard what I had said and  luckily had a sense of humour, she burst out laughing along with my kids as I stood mortified. Thank god for small mercies.

Paul managed to finish work slightly earlier yesterday and so we all went swimming, this was a great way to spend Tuesday. We had great fun especially as J has come on leaps and bounds recently with his swimming. It almost felt like some spa retreat as I floated about on a giant raft, if it wasn’t for the screaming of the kids and the lifeguard blowing his whistle at J for trying to surf on said raft.

We then went for a quick Tesco shop, I say quick but when has a Tesco shop ever been quick with two kids in tow?! There I was pushing the trolley whilst giving E a piggy back and desperately trying to tick off the items from the list. I felt like some overloaded tortoise crawling around an assault course. Twenty minutes later (and once my trolley was filled) Paul turned up, I assumed he’d taken J to the toilet and as it turned out he’d actually been upstairs perusing the electronics. Jeez thanks for your help love! What is it with men?! Funnily enough, he then did another disappearing act whilst I filled the bags and paid for it all… Seriously ?

At least the kids slept last night, that gave us a chance to sit back and catch up on the box (Eastenders and Happy Valley).

This morning was another race to get ready as I arranged to meet up with a friend at the local bouncy castle mayhem morning. It was bedlam as the kids were all far too sugared up and hyper, all bouncing into each other like drunk weebles. Heather, my good friend kindly took J to play with her little boy for the afternoon and so I have been able to get E down for a nap. I’m hoping that he behaves and eats whatever she offers him for dinner, J is a fussy bugger at the best of times so no doubt he’s stuck his nose up at the hot food but saved space for ice cream… I’ll find out later.

On that note it’s time for me to make dinner, for us and as it’s just ‘us girls’ and I am in ‘can’t be arsed mode’, it’ll be a gourmet offering of cheese on toast because that’s how I roll in half term.

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