Bumps, Babies And Knowing When You Are Done

Bumps, Babies And Knowing When You Are Done

I am incredibly lucky to have two beautiful children, in the words of Buzz Light Year I love them to infinity and beyond. I was blessed with having ‘one of each’ and that is simply lovely jubbly, I have the perfect balance, the perfect age gap and as far as I am concerned, the perfect family.

Surrounded By Bumps & Babies

It seems like I am surrounded by bumps and babies yet I feel nothing, not even the slightest emotion other than relief that I never have to go through all that again. I love our children dearly but two kids are enough for me, one to hold each hand, one of each flavour, one of each types of birth, two polar opposites that I love to the moon and back.

Bumps, Babies And Knowing When You Are Done

Our family is complete. I no longer wish to have anymore children and have sold and given away all of our baby paraphernalia since having E. Babies are pretty much the last thing on my mind these days, I am happy to enjoy cuddles with other people’s little bundles but I feel no broodiness or yearning to go back there and do it all again.

 

Getting Your Mojo Back

Despite E now being three-years old, Paul and I have only just started getting our sleep back. Our children may be beautiful, clever and never fail to amaze us but they aren’t particularly great sleepers and Paul and I have found that we have both gained a fair amount of grey hairs over the past seven years. Night times have never really been easy. Getting a full nights sleep was in another life time, if it’s not a toilet trip or a nightmare it’s one of the kids wanting cuddles in the early hours or some other random requirement.

 

The Reality Check

I couldn’t imagine doing it all again and have been taking the pill religiously since having E to ensure that our perfect 2.4 family stays just as it is, two kids, two adults and one dog. Unbeknown to our family and friends until now I guess we recently had a pregnancy scare and it made us both question our future and consider our options. I stood by my ground and persisted that we were to have no more children, whether it required tablets, surgery or whatever else.

At first my husband was on the same page then later surprised me somewhat by suggesting that we should go ahead with the whole scenario. This really didn’t help matters in my mind and I spent a whole weekend laying awake worrying about how the hell we could or would manage financially, mentally and logistically with three children.

I confided in a close friend, she was amazing and supported me throughout the weekend, I have no idea what I’d of done without her. I have literally been driven to distraction, terrified at what could be, what my family would think and how we could ‘sort the situation out’ without judgement or upset.

 

Finding The Answers

Thankfully it was a false alarm but there are still questions raised as to what on earth is going on with my cycle and the Rigevidon contraceptive pill, I have completely lost trust in the product and am awaiting a phone call from the GP to discuss alternative options.

Bumps, Babies And Knowing When You Are DoneWe discussed surgery for one or both of us a year or so ago but decided it was too finalFollowing a weekend of worry and wishing for Aunt Flow to make an appearance I am now completely certain that we are done and want to make some arrangements to make it a final decision.

How can it be that years back I was peeing on sticks desperate to see two lines, longing to be pregnant yet now I am so terrified of seeing those two lines that I am willing to go under the knife? Well, I guess when you have everything you have ever dreamed of you just want to be happy right?

I guess I have answered the big question that every parent asks themselves ‘How do you know when you are done having children?’… you scare yourself stupid, spend endless amounts of hours in a pit of worry and then come out on the other side with all the answers. I now have my answer and I know, this is it, I am happy with ‘one of each’ thank you very much.

Bumps, Babies And Knowing When You Are Done


When did you know? How did you know? What did you do? Please comment, email or get in touch via social media and give me some guidance folks.

RachelSwirl
A Cornish Mum

13 Comments

  1. November 7, 2016 / 3:41 pm

    I think from your reaction to your false alarm you are definitely done, it’s a strange one isn’t it because everyone is so different I just knew I was done after Jake I just felt it.

    I started my ‘career’ as a mummy aged 20 and after having my second baby at 22 I knew I wanted more but my ex-husband disagreed, I did become pregnant which sadly resulted in a miscarriage and in my vulnerable state I agreed to him having the snip something I deeply regretted as that niggling feeling never left me.
    As the universe would have it I met my now hubby and we have two more wonderful children and along with his two from a previous marriage we now have 6 between us which is plenty. I can’t take any hormone based contraceptives so we took a more permanent approach as a solution which feels totally right for us.

    I suppose what I’m trying to say is that you just ‘know’ when you are done. I think you are so brave writing it all down good on you !

  2. November 7, 2016 / 5:21 pm

    Age dictated for us – I was pushing 40 and my husband 50. Also, I was in heart failure when having my last child and so was ‘strongly advised’ not to have any more. Despite that, I must admit whenever I had a little scare of being late, I would secretly have a little hope that there might be a chance for one more! Mad, I know! So I guess despite my circumstances, I wasn’t quite 100% sure I was ‘done’. I am now though, I’ve had a hysterectomy!

  3. November 8, 2016 / 8:05 am

    I think it’s a good thing that you know what you want and you can appreciate what you have. So many people don’t do that and it’s sad. No harm in knowing your own mind.

    Sally @ Life Loving

  4. November 8, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    What a brave and honest post.
    I Know we are done but I guess until your actually faced with a possible decision you can’t say hand on heart how you’d feel.
    Thanks for sharing.
    You have a lovely little family

  5. November 8, 2016 / 7:58 pm

    As a few others have said, it’s clear that you are done with having children. Rather than going under the knife, have you considered the Nexplanon implant? That’s what I have, and I think it’s great! Cycle is always a bit weird (not always regular, can sometimes skip a month and then have two in one month) but it’s worth it.

    I knew I didn’t want kids any time soon after having Esme, and I’m still not sure about the whole situation now. Thankfully I still have lots of time to get on with things in my life, but I’m not sure how I would feel if I got pregnant now, because that would mean at least another two years before I can get on with doing things I really want to do.

    I also feel the guilt of having one child, and feel as though Esme deserves a brother or a sister. But Al is very much against having another child at the moment.

    However, having said that, I do think that if I were to fall pregnant now I wouldn’t be too sad about it. I’d definitely freak out a little bit though! Haha!

  6. November 10, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    It sounds like you know yourself well. May you guided by listening to yourself and remain happy in your decisions. #TuesdayTreasures

  7. November 17, 2016 / 10:30 pm

    I am done at two as well, my boys are at an age where I have a lot of freedom back. I don’t think I could go back to nappies etc now!

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

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