As usual for my neck of the woods, it’s pissing it down. I am fairly used to the weather by now after thirty something years of it, but since having kids I have developed an inner hatred towards the rain. It’s bad enough finding ways in which to entertain two hyperactive little shits darlings, never mind having to do your best at being all round entertainer whilst being confined to four walls.

So far we have attempted the Pinterest picture perfect parent thing and made a fresh batch of play dough. The kids played with the warm dough for the whole of ten minutes before becoming bored and looking for their next fix.…

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It was Pauls first day off this half term, he booked it especially as I had managed to get tickets for the CBeebies Chris and Pui Roadshow (based upon the TV show Show Me Show Me).

We all woke up fairly early, managed to get dressed and ready to leave the house without a great deal of fuss which I have to say is fairly spectacular considering that getting out of the door is usually comparable to preparing for an expedition to the North Pole. Even better, we somehow managed to transport E for forty-five minutes to Barrow in the car round windy bends without her painting the back seats with her breakfast!…

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For some reason Wednesday is now referred to online as ‘Hump Day’, I’m not entirely sure as to why they call it this, but having my brain in the gutter, I picture Wednesday’s to be the day when we are all meant to be at it like rabbits, humping away to our hearts contents. Obviously, I realise it’s because Wednesday is deemed as the half way point and so you’re over the ‘hump of the week’. Personally, I’m usually in a hump by Wednesday, this week I sure as hell am!

It’s half term, I’ve never really understood why parents moan so much about having to look after their own children until now.…

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What is it with Sunday’s ? You wake up, register that it’s the last day of the weekend and instantly feel low. All of a sudden your weekend feels as if it’s over when it’s actually only half done. Suddenly all those jobs you’ve been mentally listing throughout the week must get done and they must get done today god damn.

Realistically you have a hope in hells chance of actually ticking all those boxes before Monday lands but God loves a trier. It’s especially funny if you’reĀ  desperately trying to carry out said chores whilst entertaining children, you can kid yourselves that your lovely little ones are sugary sweet little helpers, but you and I both know that you may as well be sweeping leaves in a whirlwind.…

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Eleven years ago today I was in the middle of a wardrobe crisis deciding upon a first date outfit for an evening out to the cinema with the workplace hotty. Back then Paul had the look of the late Heath Ledger (when he starred in 10 Things), he had long dark curly hair, a goatee almost chinstrap and stubble I desperately wanted to run my hand over.

To be honest I was fairly sure the date would amount to either nothing whatsoever or a one night stand as quite frankly, I saw Paul to be way out of my league. He was a ten, I was a two at best and so rather than the usual five-ten minute rush to get ready, I spent a fair amount of time straightening my mop and sticking on the slap whilst simultaneously smoking like a chimney to steady my nerves.…

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