For some reason Wednesday is now referred to online as ‘Hump Day’, I’m not entirely sure as to why they call it this, but having my brain in the gutter, I picture Wednesday’s to be the day when we are all meant to be at it like rabbits, humping away to our hearts contents. Obviously, I realise it’s because Wednesday is deemed as the half way point and so you’re over the ‘hump of the week’. Personally, I’m usually in a hump by Wednesday, this week I sure as hell am!

It’s half term, I’ve never really understood why parents moan so much about having to look after their own children until now.… Read more from this post

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What is it with Sunday’s ? You wake up, register that it’s the last day of the weekend and instantly feel low. All of a sudden your weekend feels as if it’s over when it’s actually only half done. Suddenly all those jobs you’ve been mentally listing throughout the week must get done and they must get done today god damn.

Realistically you have a hope in hells chance of actually ticking all those boxes before Monday lands but God loves a trier. It’s especially funny if you’reĀ  desperately trying to carry out said chores whilst entertaining children, you can kid yourselves that your lovely little ones are sugary sweet little helpers, but you and I both know that you may as well be sweeping leaves in a whirlwind.… Read more from this post

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Eleven years ago today I was in the middle of a wardrobe crisis deciding upon a first date outfit for an evening out to the cinema with the workplace hotty. Back then Paul had the look of the late Heath Ledger (when he starred in 10 Things), he had long dark curly hair, a goatee almost chinstrap and stubble I desperately wanted to run my hand over.

To be honest I was fairly sure the date would amount to either nothing whatsoever or a one night stand as quite frankly, I saw Paul to be way out of my league. He was a ten, I was a two at best and so rather than the usual five-ten minute rush to get ready, I spent a fair amount of time straightening my mop and sticking on the slap whilst simultaneously smoking like a chimney to steady my nerves.… Read more from this post

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I discovered real pain last night, the kind of pain that renders you unable to speak, I have smashed my essential ‘middle finger’, Even if I was to try to give you the finger, I couldn’t as it hurts too effing much! If I was ever to have kids again (not happening) then I am almost certain that if you were to take my finger and slam it in a door I would forget all about contractions. I’m not advising you give yourself smashed fingers during labour but it’d be one hell of a distraction! I was unable to sleep last night with the throbbing pain so it’s almost like practicing for the real event of having a baby in that you also lose your precious mattress time.… Read more from this post

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I am actually quite overjoyed, the sun was back from its winter vacation today, God knows where it went to, probably the same place that all our lost parts from toys end up. Whatever, I’m so glad to see its back even if it was only for an hour before it clouded over. That hour meant that E had a chance to bounce out some of her Duracell bunny like energy before nap time, which in turn meant that nap time happened and I got time to have a brew and finish some bits and pieces around the house. I am going to be pretty bloody busy in the next few weeks however, as I took a delivery today for over two years worth of kids photographs, the post lady did look at me like some sort of drug dealer when she had to go back and forth to her van several times in order to carry said order.… Read more from this post

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