It has been a rough couple of years for me in terms of my career, since being made redundant back in 2011 I have bumbled along doing what I need to do for myself and my family to get by. There isn’t a great amount of opportunities in terms of employment within our local area, so I’ve tried to stick with what I know in terms of part-time jobs, sometimes it might be teaching and at other times it might be pulling pints behind the local bar. Mainly though, I have tried to make positive use of the time by simply enjoying parenthood.
Since becoming a parent I have put most of my abilities (other than cleaning and child care) on the back burner and haven’t really tried at any point to improve myself, other than by quitting smoking and cutting down on the sugar consumption. Where is the fun in that?
It seems to me that I am ‘Jack of all trades’ but ‘Master of Jack-Shit’. For example:
- I am a good pianist but haven’t got the confidence to play in public without falling apart.
- I am good at sewing but still cannot fathom the patience to make my own kitchen curtains.
- I am good at art but never really seem to put it to use.
- I am a keen reader but never seem to have the time to finish a book.
- I am fairly good at ICT yet still end up having a swearing match with the laptop when it comes to fixing css templates. I get there eventually but have still never managed to do so without the odd expletive.
- I am a keen horse rider but since having kids, I daren’t go galloping down the beach. It’s as if I’ve lost my ‘bottle’ since becoming a Mum.
- I was a good skier but since breaking my ankle during my hen party back in 2007 I have stayed well away from snow. This is partly due to fear but mainly due to finances and practicalities.
- I am a good teacher, scrap that – I am actually a bloody fantastic teacher but I have yet to attain a ‘good job’ and whilst I have all the relevant qualifications and experience it seems luck just isn’t on my side in terms of finding or acquiring a teaching role.
There are loads more that I could list but I’d probably only bore you (and myself).In other words, I am good at lots of different things but I don’t feel that I excel in any one area as such. I just bumble along…
A few weeks ago I was notified that there was a teaching vacancy that I may be interested in, actually two teaching vacancies both within the same establishment. I have to admit that whilst I became slightly excited by the idea of returning to the classroom, I also dreaded the thought of having to write yet another bloody application letter and worse, fill out another sodding application form. I am not one for blowing my own trumpet and so the application process is a bit of a nightmare for me.
As with any job, there’s the application process which I find nerve-wracking enough and have actually spent over eight hours trying to complete this week. Should your application be successful, there is then the interview to follow, which for teaching vacancies also includes the added task of having to plan, prepare and deliver a lesson as part of the interview. Yet another hurdle to jump and yet more worry and stress to put yourself through. I am fairly sure that it is all worth it but whilst I have been through this many times over the past few years, I have yet to complete the process having attained a job of any kind. I can only keep trying (and praying and hoping) right?
I am planning to deliver my application letter, form and CV tomorrow at some point and even the thought of dropping of an envelope gives me the jitters. Nerves are meant to be a good thing apparently, but for me they just send me bat shit crazy and I find myself yo-yo-ing from day dreaming about a potential new role to preparing myself for the most likely outcome by sulking like a stroppy teenager as I’ve probably wasted hours of my time applying in the first place as it will never happen. Until the fat lady has sung and I know for sure as to one way or the other, I simply cannot settle.
On that note, I will settle for at least having completed the application in the first place, I actually feel fairly accomplished! I now need to get my arse into gear for heading to the pub for another shift of pulling pints in the local.